Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
