I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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