i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
