i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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