Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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