She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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