I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
