which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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