I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
