I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
