Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
