....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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