Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
