is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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