he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
