i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
