Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
