dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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