planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
