yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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