I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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