Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
