thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
