I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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