What a fucking waste of an outfit
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
