thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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