I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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