Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Randomize
