so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
