Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
