so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
