if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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