Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
