never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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