In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
