I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
