i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
