Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
