i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
