six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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