I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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