ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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