on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
