There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
