Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
