She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
