Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
