DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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