You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
