yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
